Molly  Driscoll
  • Home
  • About Me
  • Writing
  • Commercials
  • Blog
  • Life on Set
  • Contact

six Things I'd Ditch with my Humanity Switched off

3/19/2015

0 Comments

 
Picture
In Vampire Diaries, Caroline and Stefan recently flipped their humanity switches.  Now, normally this would lead to very bad things like murder, blood sucking and over all "vampire on the lose” craziness.   I have to say, given the Catholic guilt conscience I carry around, there is something alluring about flipping the good ole’ humanity switch.

Six Things I'd Ditch with my Humanity Switched Off

1.Ditch the Cart
After I load the last grocery bag into my trunk, the distance between the cart drop-off and me somehow now rivals a 5K.  Of course, I begrudgingly push my cart back because I am a good citizen of the world and not some Satan worshiper who leaves their cart in the prime spot you want to park in.  With my switch flipped, though, I am ditching that cart to the tune of Tom Petty’s “Free Falling.”

2. Ditch the Customary Text
We all do it.  Either we totally forget about a text or just plain ignore it.  Unfortunately we have a conscience, we feel obligated to send some courtesy “I’m just seeing this, just got out of work or my bad for being MIA” text.   Without humanity, you cut out all of that and simply respond with “what’s up.” No explanation.  Just I’m here now and you are welcome.

3. Ditch the Early Merge
When I see a lane is closed ahead of me I do two things.  1. Freak out because “oh my God, my precious route has been compromised.”  2.  Try as quickly as possible to merge, while acquiring new sweat rings on my t-shirt.  Now, without my pesky humanity, I’m that girl who flies up the open lane and then merges at the last minute.  That girl saves time and probably has a dry shirt.  A plus side to no humanity is no more prescription strength deodorant because nerves…what nerves?

4. Ditch the Apologizing.
I am not suggesting a full Kayne level apology boycott, but with the switch flipped, I definitely would stop saying sorry to inanimate objects.  I bump into things a lot and I find myself apologizing to trees, trashcans, doors etc.  Also, if we are giving out vampire abilities, maybe I could get their speed.  I am really clumsy.

5.   Ditch the Pass on Crowded Elevators
The elevator doors open wide revealing a crowded car.  Now, of course, even though I have places to go I wait for the next one.   Without that pesky humanity voice inside my head, I’m strolling on to that crowded elevator.  And, hey my humanity’s off, I might as well blast my music on my iPod headphones.

6. Ditch the Poop Bag
My Maltipoo, Maddie, loves to drop a deuce and then run away, basically pinning the poop on me.  I, of course, pick it up with my California approved recyclable poop bag.  And one particularly ingenious time, when I ran out of bags and used an oversized leaf.  I always run across Maddie size poops, so clearly plenty of people have flipped their humanity switch when it comes to dog defecating manners.

Honestly, we have probably seen people do all of these annoying habits.  We wrote them off as jerks or selfish A-holes, when we are clearly in some vampire without their humanity epidemic.  So next time someone cuts you off or doesn’t take her cart back, remember she's got bigger problems.  She's probably a soulless vampire.  That’s got to be it, right?


0 Comments

    Molly

    Writer, TV Fanatic, Fashion Lover, Crazy Dog Owner, Laker Fan and Daydreamer.    

    Enter your email address:

    Delivered by FeedBurner

    Archives

    September 2017
    November 2016
    December 2015
    September 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014

    Picture

    Categories

    All
    Ace Academy
    Adulthood
    Agent Carter
    AIM
    Apple
    April Carver
    ARROW
    Boy Meets World
    Camelbak
    Captain Lance
    Caroline Forbes
    Cat Lady
    Chanel WOC
    Chasing Life
    Cookie Lyons
    Cooking
    Crazy Dog Lady
    CWFanTalk
    Dating
    Declutter
    Empire
    Felicity Smoak
    Final Draft Big Break
    Flash
    Foodporn
    Getting Gas
    Gilmore Girls
    Google
    Gotham
    Growing Up
    Harry Potter
    Hashtags
    Hot Flash High
    Humanity Switch
    Instagram
    Ironing
    Jane Rodriguez
    Jane The Virgin
    John Diggle
    Kobe Bryant
    Laurel Lance
    Lazyboy
    Maddie
    Malcolm Merlyn
    MaltiPoo
    Mirrow Selfie
    Napster
    Nashville
    New Girl
    News
    New Year Resolutions
    Olicity
    Oliver Queen
    Olivia Pope
    Parks And Recreation
    Peggy Carter
    Pinky And The Brain
    Ray Palmer
    Roy Harper
    Saving Money
    Scandal
    Screenwriting Contests
    Selfie
    Single Life
    Social Media
    Stef And Lena Foster
    Stefan Salvatore
    Taylor Swift
    Thank You
    Thea Queen
    The Fosters
    The Rock
    Tory Burch
    Travel
    TV
    UberX
    UPS Men
    Vampire Diaries
    Will And Grace
    Working Out
    Writing
    WWe

    RSS Feed

Proudly powered by Weebly