My Miss Maddie turned nine today and it got me thinking. Who really is the owner in this relationship?
Five Times when Maddie was the QUEEN.
1. Her Living Arrangements
I live in a one-bedroom apartment, so fittingly there’s only one queen size bed. Yet, if you did a quick scavenger hunt for dog beds you would find not one or two, but four. FOUR DOG BEDS in a one-bedroom apartment. Oh and she sleeps in “My” bed with me most nights. And at nine pounds, she’s also kind of a blanket hog. I often wake up clinging to the side of the bed. Clearly, she actually has FIVE dog beds.
2. Her Diet.
I have already written about my struggle with the simple task of feeding myself. So I’m clearly not always eating organic like Dr. Oz or every magazine is trying to shame me into. But don’t worry, Maddie is. I make sure I get her the purest holistic non-wheat dog food. It’s still kibble, though, because I don’t even cook some nights. If I start grilling chicken for Maddie, I might as well just list myself as one of her dependents.
3. Her Name
A golden retriever named Molly lived next door to my grammar school. She was a complete flight risk. Molly would pull a Shawshank Redemption and we’d spend our recesses running after her, calling her name. I accepted early on I had dog’s name, at least it wasn’t a street drug. But, wait. Having a dog’s name isn’t even that bad, but it can be a problem at the vet’s office. No matter how many times I tell my vet, he seems convinced that I’m Maddie and the Maltipoo is Molly. “What kind of flee treatment are you using for Molly?” “I’m not sure. Does Frédéric Fekkai make a shampoo for that?”
4. Her Travel Arrangements
When my dad and I book my travel arrangements for Madison Media Works (Aka Maddie’s Namesake) there is one primary concern. Is Maddie coming with me? If yes, I get an automatic upgrade. This nine-pound Maltipoo is better than having Delta Platinum level. Also we try to make sure we get the best connections because Maddie doesn’t do long layovers. To her credit, she’s an excellent traveler, but wouldn’t we all be if we flew like Maddie.
5. Her Blowouts
I love a good drybar, but I would never sign up for a standing appointment because it’s only for special occasions. Maddie has a standing every two-week grooming appointment. Being a Maltipoo, she has combination hair (curly from the Poodle and straight form the Maltese.) The girl needs her blowout. And her hair’s got to look good for her custom Chanel ribbon bows I make her. That sentence alone might be a cry for help.
I guess Maddie and I are like Tony Danza and that Blonde chick in the classic sitcom, “Who’s the Boss?” Minus the sexual tension, because, don’t be weird. I know Cesar would shame me for not being clear that I’m the boss, but I love my little Diva. She’s my constant companion, my protector and the best purchase I ever made. Even better than my Chanel bag and that my friends is saying something. Happy Birthday to the Queen, Miss Maddie.
Five Times when Maddie was the QUEEN.
1. Her Living Arrangements
I live in a one-bedroom apartment, so fittingly there’s only one queen size bed. Yet, if you did a quick scavenger hunt for dog beds you would find not one or two, but four. FOUR DOG BEDS in a one-bedroom apartment. Oh and she sleeps in “My” bed with me most nights. And at nine pounds, she’s also kind of a blanket hog. I often wake up clinging to the side of the bed. Clearly, she actually has FIVE dog beds.
2. Her Diet.
I have already written about my struggle with the simple task of feeding myself. So I’m clearly not always eating organic like Dr. Oz or every magazine is trying to shame me into. But don’t worry, Maddie is. I make sure I get her the purest holistic non-wheat dog food. It’s still kibble, though, because I don’t even cook some nights. If I start grilling chicken for Maddie, I might as well just list myself as one of her dependents.
3. Her Name
A golden retriever named Molly lived next door to my grammar school. She was a complete flight risk. Molly would pull a Shawshank Redemption and we’d spend our recesses running after her, calling her name. I accepted early on I had dog’s name, at least it wasn’t a street drug. But, wait. Having a dog’s name isn’t even that bad, but it can be a problem at the vet’s office. No matter how many times I tell my vet, he seems convinced that I’m Maddie and the Maltipoo is Molly. “What kind of flee treatment are you using for Molly?” “I’m not sure. Does Frédéric Fekkai make a shampoo for that?”
4. Her Travel Arrangements
When my dad and I book my travel arrangements for Madison Media Works (Aka Maddie’s Namesake) there is one primary concern. Is Maddie coming with me? If yes, I get an automatic upgrade. This nine-pound Maltipoo is better than having Delta Platinum level. Also we try to make sure we get the best connections because Maddie doesn’t do long layovers. To her credit, she’s an excellent traveler, but wouldn’t we all be if we flew like Maddie.
5. Her Blowouts
I love a good drybar, but I would never sign up for a standing appointment because it’s only for special occasions. Maddie has a standing every two-week grooming appointment. Being a Maltipoo, she has combination hair (curly from the Poodle and straight form the Maltese.) The girl needs her blowout. And her hair’s got to look good for her custom Chanel ribbon bows I make her. That sentence alone might be a cry for help.
I guess Maddie and I are like Tony Danza and that Blonde chick in the classic sitcom, “Who’s the Boss?” Minus the sexual tension, because, don’t be weird. I know Cesar would shame me for not being clear that I’m the boss, but I love my little Diva. She’s my constant companion, my protector and the best purchase I ever made. Even better than my Chanel bag and that my friends is saying something. Happy Birthday to the Queen, Miss Maddie.
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