Molly  Driscoll
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Five Times when Maddie was the QUEEN. 

1/29/2015

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My Miss Maddie turned nine today and it got me thinking. Who really is the owner in this relationship? 

Five Times when Maddie was the QUEEN. 

1. Her Living Arrangements
I live in a one-bedroom apartment, so fittingly there’s only one queen size bed.  Yet, if you did a quick scavenger hunt for dog beds you would find not one or two, but four. FOUR DOG BEDS in a one-bedroom apartment.  Oh and she sleeps in “My” bed with me most nights.  And at nine pounds, she’s also kind of a blanket hog.  I often wake up clinging to the side of the bed.  Clearly, she actually has FIVE dog beds.

2. Her Diet.
I have already written about my struggle with the simple task of feeding myself.  So I’m clearly not always eating organic like Dr. Oz or every magazine is trying to shame me into.  But don’t worry, Maddie is.  I make sure I get her the purest holistic non-wheat dog food.  It’s still kibble, though, because I don’t even cook some nights. If I start grilling chicken for Maddie, I might as well just list myself as one of her dependents.

3.  Her Name
A golden retriever named Molly lived next door to my grammar school.  She was a complete flight risk.  Molly would pull a Shawshank Redemption and we’d spend our recesses running after her, calling her name.  I accepted early on I had dog’s name, at least it wasn’t a street drug. But, wait.  Having a dog’s name isn’t even that bad, but it can be a problem at the vet’s office. No matter how many times I tell my vet, he seems convinced that I’m Maddie and the Maltipoo is Molly. “What kind of flee treatment are you using for Molly?”  “I’m not sure. Does Frédéric Fekkai make a shampoo for that?”

4.  Her Travel Arrangements
When my dad and I book my travel arrangements for Madison Media Works (Aka Maddie’s Namesake) there is one primary concern.  Is Maddie coming with me?  If yes, I get an automatic upgrade. This nine-pound Maltipoo is better than having Delta Platinum level.   Also we try to make sure we get the best connections because Maddie doesn’t do long layovers.   To her credit, she’s an excellent traveler, but wouldn’t we all be if we flew like Maddie.

5.  Her Blowouts
I love a good drybar, but I would never sign up for a standing appointment because it’s only for special occasions. Maddie has a standing every two-week grooming appointment.   Being a Maltipoo, she has combination hair (curly from the Poodle and straight form the Maltese.)  The girl needs her blowout.   And her hair’s got to look good for her custom Chanel ribbon bows I make her.  That sentence alone might be a cry for help.

I guess Maddie and I are like Tony Danza and that Blonde chick in the classic sitcom, “Who’s the Boss?”  Minus the sexual tension, because, don’t be weird.  I know Cesar would shame me for not being clear that I’m the boss, but I love my little Diva.  She’s my constant companion, my protector and the best purchase I ever made. Even better than my Chanel bag and that my friends is saying something. Happy Birthday to the Queen, Miss Maddie. 


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Why January is Actually the Worst Month for Resolutions.

1/8/2015

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It’s that time of year again.  No, not when you made resolutions. That was last week when you were full of hope, good tiding and cheer.  Nope.  This is about the time when you’ve probably already broken one or two or all of them.  It’s not your fault.  It’s the Calendar.  January is a terrible time to make a resolution and here’s why.

1. “I’m going to work out more.”
You vowed to work out every morning, but then God intervenes by sending artic temperatures.  You have no choice, but to hit the SNOOZE button.  It’s not your fault. That’s an Act of God.  Granted this doesn’t work as well for SoCal living, but ,hey, we did have winter last week.   

2. “I’m gonna put myself out there more in the dating scene.”
Congrats! You made it through the holiday parties, New Years kiss and Mariah Carey’s “All I want for Christmas is You” annual taunt.  Next year, you vowed the spot next to you at the holiday table will not be where the family style food resides, but the spot designated for your perfectly charming plus one.   You will miss the easy access to the bread bowl and stuffing, but sacrifices must be made.   Then it hits you, the holiday beat down isn’t over. There’s still one more Single slam waiting and it’s the knock out punch. VALENTINE’S DAY!  And really there’s no point starting to date before this POW style torture, so the sweatpants go back on.  Spring dating is more playful anyway.

3. “This is the year I’m going to save more.”
Such an adult and noble aspiration, yet impossible if you have an email. Sure, you want to put aside your nest egg, but then the temptations start. “Flash sales, 60 percent off, end of the season,” taunt you.   You take a quick peek and pretty soon you’ve got your VISA rep calling you to verify suspicious activity on your account.  “Yep, that’s all me,” you shamefully confirm.  She claims this was a just a courtesy call, but let’s just call it what it is, Keisha.  This was a judgment call and, yes, I’m not saving. Happy New Year to me.       

So there it is kids. If you've fallen off your New Year’s resolution, take comfort that it’s never your fault. Simply poor event planning.   I am sure we would all keep Summer Resolutions. 

Happy New Year!


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The Arrow’s Characters’ New Year Resolutions

1/5/2015

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Detective/Officer/Captain Lance
Career Stability. I would like to keep a job title for more than a year and spend more time with both my loving and ALIVE daughters.

Laurel Lance
Stop making rash decisions.  Wait, Oliver’s dead, I’m going to protect this city. (Off to find copious amounts of black leather and buckles.)

Thea Queen
Take down this ridiculously large Christmas tree all by myself because Oliver is MIA once again.  Stop wearing cropped tank tops in winter.  And finally get that mysterious locked door at Verdant checked out.

John Diggle
Get a mask or a largely brimmed hat.   Not a hood though.  Too many hoods in this city and it’s not my thing.  Maybe a helmet.  I’d look good in a helmet.

Roy Harper
Give up the flips.  They might look cool, but they totally mess up my aim.  Speaking of aim, maybe give up the whole bow and arrow thing.  Time to find a different weapon in my Arsenal. 

Ray Palmer
Finish my suit so I have some defense against Olicity fans.  They’re focused, organized, vocal and, quite frankly, scare me.   

Oliver Queen
Find a Lazarus Pit or a really big Band-Aid STAT. Also, work on some sword control legislation because, damn, they are bad news for my family. RIP Mom. 

Malcolm Merlyn
Keep Winning at Everything.

Felicity Smoak
Find Oliver and Say it Back.


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    Molly

    Writer, TV Fanatic, Fashion Lover, Crazy Dog Owner, Laker Fan and Daydreamer.    

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