My Miss Maddie turned nine today and it got me thinking. Who really is the owner in this relationship? 

Five Times when Maddie was the QUEEN. 

1. Her Living Arrangements
I live in a one-bedroom apartment, so fittingly there’s only one queen size bed.  Yet, if you did a quick scavenger hunt for dog beds you would find not one or two, but four. FOUR DOG BEDS in a one-bedroom apartment.  Oh and she sleeps in “My” bed with me most nights.  And at nine pounds, she’s also kind of a blanket hog.  I often wake up clinging to the side of the bed.  Clearly, she actually has FIVE dog beds.

2. Her Diet.
I have already written about my struggle with the simple task of feeding myself.  So I’m clearly not always eating organic like Dr. Oz or every magazine is trying to shame me into.  But don’t worry, Maddie is.  I make sure I get her the purest holistic non-wheat dog food.  It’s still kibble, though, because I don’t even cook some nights. If I start grilling chicken for Maddie, I might as well just list myself as one of her dependents.

3.  Her Name
A golden retriever named Molly lived next door to my grammar school.  She was a complete flight risk.  Molly would pull a Shawshank Redemption and we’d spend our recesses running after her, calling her name.  I accepted early on I had dog’s name, at least it wasn’t a street drug. But, wait.  Having a dog’s name isn’t even that bad, but it can be a problem at the vet’s office. No matter how many times I tell my vet, he seems convinced that I’m Maddie and the Maltipoo is Molly. “What kind of flee treatment are you using for Molly?”  “I’m not sure. Does Frédéric Fekkai make a shampoo for that?”

4.  Her Travel Arrangements
When my dad and I book my travel arrangements for Madison Media Works (Aka Maddie’s Namesake) there is one primary concern.  Is Maddie coming with me?  If yes, I get an automatic upgrade. This nine-pound Maltipoo is better than having Delta Platinum level.   Also we try to make sure we get the best connections because Maddie doesn’t do long layovers.   To her credit, she’s an excellent traveler, but wouldn’t we all be if we flew like Maddie.

5.  Her Blowouts
I love a good drybar, but I would never sign up for a standing appointment because it’s only for special occasions. Maddie has a standing every two-week grooming appointment.   Being a Maltipoo, she has combination hair (curly from the Poodle and straight form the Maltese.)  The girl needs her blowout.   And her hair’s got to look good for her custom Chanel ribbon bows I make her.  That sentence alone might be a cry for help.

I guess Maddie and I are like Tony Danza and that Blonde chick in the classic sitcom, “Who’s the Boss?”  Minus the sexual tension, because, don’t be weird.  I know Cesar would shame me for not being clear that I’m the boss, but I love my little Diva.  She’s my constant companion, my protector and the best purchase I ever made. Even better than my Chanel bag and that my friends is saying something. Happy Birthday to the Queen, Miss Maddie. 

It’s that time of year again.  No, not when you made resolutions. That was last week when you were full of hope, good tiding and cheer.  Nope.  This is about the time when you’ve probably already broken one or two or all of them.  It’s not your fault.  It’s the Calendar.  January is a terrible time to make a resolution and here’s why.

1. “I’m going to work out more.”
You vowed to work out every morning, but then God intervenes by sending artic temperatures.  You have no choice, but to hit the SNOOZE button.  It’s not your fault. That’s an Act of God.  Granted this doesn’t work as well for SoCal living, but ,hey, we did have winter last week.   

2. “I’m gonna put myself out there more in the dating scene.”
Congrats! You made it through the holiday parties, New Years kiss and Mariah Carey’s “All I want for Christmas is You” annual taunt.  Next year, you vowed the spot next to you at the holiday table will not be where the family style food resides, but the spot designated for your perfectly charming plus one.   You will miss the easy access to the bread bowl and stuffing, but sacrifices must be made.   Then it hits you, the holiday beat down isn’t over. There’s still one more Single slam waiting and it’s the knock out punch. VALENTINE’S DAY!  And really there’s no point starting to date before this POW style torture, so the sweatpants go back on.  Spring dating is more playful anyway.

3. “This is the year I’m going to save more.”
Such an adult and noble aspiration, yet impossible if you have an email. Sure, you want to put aside your nest egg, but then the temptations start. “Flash sales, 60 percent off, end of the season,” taunt you.   You take a quick peek and pretty soon you’ve got your VISA rep calling you to verify suspicious activity on your account.  “Yep, that’s all me,” you shamefully confirm.  She claims this was a just a courtesy call, but let’s just call it what it is, Keisha.  This was a judgment call and, yes, I’m not saving. Happy New Year to me.       

So there it is kids. If you've fallen off your New Year’s resolution, take comfort that it’s never your fault. Simply poor event planning.   I am sure we would all keep Summer Resolutions. 

Happy New Year!

Detective/Officer/Captain Lance
Career Stability. I would like to keep a job title for more than a year and spend more time with both my loving and ALIVE daughters.

Laurel Lance
Stop making rash decisions.  Wait, Oliver’s dead, I’m going to protect this city. (Off to find copious amounts of black leather and buckles.)

Thea Queen
Take down this ridiculously large Christmas tree all by myself because Oliver is MIA once again.  Stop wearing cropped tank tops in winter.  And finally get that mysterious locked door at Verdant checked out.

John Diggle
Get a mask or a largely brimmed hat.   Not a hood though.  Too many hoods in this city and it’s not my thing.  Maybe a helmet.  I’d look good in a helmet.

Roy Harper
Give up the flips.  They might look cool, but they totally mess up my aim.  Speaking of aim, maybe give up the whole bow and arrow thing.  Time to find a different weapon in my Arsenal. 

Ray Palmer
Finish my suit so I have some defense against Olicity fans.  They’re focused, organized, vocal and, quite frankly, scare me.   

Oliver Queen
Find a Lazarus Pit or a really big Band-Aid STAT. Also, work on some sword control legislation because, damn, they are bad news for my family. RIP Mom. 

Malcolm Merlyn
Keep Winning at Everything.

Felicity Smoak
Find Oliver and Say it Back.

Oh the holidays: Family, Tradition, Fighting about Family and Traditions, Yuletide Joy and, of course, Travel.  There might be nothing more stressful than the pure logistics of bringing the holiday magic to life.  It made me reflect on some of my weirder traveling experiences. 
Eight Weird Things that Have Happened to Me Flying

1. OshKosh B'gosh Gate
I know security is important and I understand that I was a very intimidating looking four-year-old (see photo insert).  Even before 9/11, security seemed a bit perplexing.  Minding my own business, I strutted through the metal detector in the latest fall OshKosh B’gosh floral overalls when  threat level RED alarms went off.  I was quickly whisked away to a side room for a patdown while Bonnie D screamed, “My baby!” I was deemed not a threat to national security and returned to my family. I have not worn overalls since, which is really not much of a loss.

2. The Date
1st dates are normally disasters. First dates on a plane, that seems scarier than snakes on a plane.  Like Rihanna says, “We found love in a hopeless place,” well almost.  Here’s the meet cute. The guy next to me and I were both watching the movie. He would comment during interesting moments while we dined on a surprisingly edible steak salad. He voiced his frustration when they cut it off at a pivotal moment.  And at the end of the film he summed it up to me by saying, “it was pretty good.” Twenty minutes later, he interrupted my GoGo Wi-Fi 30,000 feet online shopping session by wanting to discuss the film. All I could think was,   “Dude, this isn't a date.”   Then I quickly went over the facts in my head. We shared a meal, saw a film and now we're discussing the finer points of the cinematic experience. Not only was it kind of a date, but it was my best one of 2013.  Sadly, I never got the guy's name, but we will always have Row 4 Seat C and D.

3. The Driscolls
In the one year traveling with Devin to Fordham, I learned some valuable lessons. I learned to travel with protein bars and never wear heals after one  "I swear if you’re wearing heels I'm leaving you in this terminal" airport dash.  Once this nice couple, who had that “we met at a Renaissance fair look” about them, boarded the plane with matching newlywed hats and sweatshirts.  Their bliss was contagious to everyone but Devin. The flight attendant congratulated them over the loud speaker and everyone clapped and Devin reached for the barf bag.  As we deboarded, the same flight attendant pulled us aside and said, “Don’t think I forgot about you two either, congratulations.”  Devin shocked and horrified about being mistaken as a newlywed with his sister, went silent. I, always looking for a compliment and any freebies that could accompany it, thanked her which shocked Devin more into yelling, “We’re from Tennessee, but we’re not that Southern.”

4. Bend Over
Traveling is great. Seeing new places.  Sharing new experiences.  Making Memories.  But let’s be honest, it can wreak havoc to your insides.  For that reason, I travel with all sorts of emergency supplies.  But I’m always good about not bringing liquids, so I was surprised when TSA pulled my bag.  When he yanked out the offending item, I hear Bonnie D gasp, “Oh My God.”  She abandons me in an uncontrollable fit of laughter because the TSA agent is holding up a new Fleet enema.  I tell him to get rid of it.  He asks, “Are you sure Ma’am, you could check it?”  In that moment, the only place I wanted to stick that enema was in the TSA agent or the deserting Bonnie D.  I did not check it.

5. Divorce Drive
One morning I woke up in the South of France and I went to bed in an airport hotel in Atlanta. To say my life had taken a dark turn was an understatement.  After delays in purgatory, otherwise known as JFK Airport, I was stuck in Atlanta for the night. I boarded the airport shuttle with one blissed out newlywed couple.  Then a yelling businessman forced himself onto the van.  He screamed into his phone, “I wasn’t with her. I didn’t even see her.”  This just got interesting.  Then one final bomb, “We aren’t getting divorced while I’m stuck in an airport shuttle.”   The honeymooners untangled themselves from each other and I was stuck in the middle of the Circle of Love.  We rode the rest of the way to the Comfort Inn in silence.

I was relatively late to Instagram, but I do like it.  There’s a thrill in seeing how many of those heart “likes” you can collect and seeing how celebrities really are “just like us.”   Sometimes, though, as I scroll through my feed, I’m struck with an overwhelming fear. “I might not be cool enough for this.”

1. The Mirror Selfie
It might be a sign of the apocalypse, but let’s all agree that the Selfie isn’t going anywhere.  Even your Nana can snap a face Selfie, disturbing but true.  The real art seems to be the casual mirror Selfie.  Extra points if you use mirror-like objects like hip storefront windows for your snap.  When trying to send my mom a particular “top outfit choice,” I have tried to snap one of these coveted mirror shots.  It does not work.  Instead, I end up with one of these three looks:  looking down five chins never eat again Selfie, phone blocking my whole face/chest Selfie, or the really spot on gorgeous Selfie of my ceiling.
2. The Black and White
My Mom’s words of wisdom have a way of haunting me.  One of Bonnie D’s pearls particularly ruins my Instagram potential: “Black and White photos are not for Redheads. We’re made for Color.”  Those lasting words prohibit me from ever being labeled artsy, thoughtful or deep because we all know nothing shows depth like a black and white photo.   
3. FoodPorn
I hate when my food comes out before my fellow dinner companion and I’m forced to be polite and not dig into my entrée like wild animal. Needless to say, I never think to snap a quick pic of my food before indulging.  Even worse, is if I had to think of a clever caption and hashtag.  That food would be colder than ice.  Let’s be honest. There’s nothing instant about being witty on social media.  I’m not even sure anyone’s actually eating these meals.   I propose a new hashtag.  #OwnItWednesday, where people take pictures of what they actually eat in a day.  I’m talking the scoops of peanut butter you suck down over the sink.  Instead of seeing Farmer Market Veggies, I want to see a nice zapped bag of microwaved mixed veggies. #OwnItWednesday.
4. Speaking of Hashtags
For some reason, all the hashtags on Instagram are like those Magic Eyes books from the 90s.   I see something different when I look at them.  #WCW:  Failed Wrestling Company.  #MCM:  I know it’s a “C” but I continually read this as MGM, so I flash to that roaring lion every time.   I initially think #SMH is a University somehow affiliated with Southern Methodist.  Then there’s the  #TBT and #FBF.  Why don’t we all just agree that the “Sunscreen Song” was right.  We all do look so much better in old pictures than we thought and just post them anytime we want.  You don’t have to create #MLM (Memory Lapse Monday ™ Molly Driscoll) if you want to relive your glory days when your youthful existence was the best filter of all.
5. Quotes
I love a good quote.  I used to keep a journal of them but I never think to “gram ‘em.” Mostly because I was falsely led to believe Instagram was for photos of people, which it is NOT.   The perfect Instagram quote is specific enough to allude to your mood, but vague enough to beg the question, “what ‘s going on with her?”  Also, you need to find a gorgeous sunset, ocean or sky shot to occupy said quote.   Now you’re officially Instagram Interesting.
6. FOMO
It’s Friday night.  My sweats are on.  I’ve released the ladies from the prison known as a wired bra and I’m in heaven.  Until I see a group shot of my friends, friends of friends, or celebrities who I subconsciously believe are my friends, having the time of their lives or so they claim. In reality, they probably are super jealous of my wireless bra and elastic waist pants, but cheers to being young and free.  Anyway, once I see those smiling faces through a flattering filter, my apartment morphs from a fortress of solitude to a shame suite.  Maybe this is when I should load a quote?  

Now I must go and load the picture of this blog to my Instagram account.  That might not help my cause, but hey #YOLO.  

1.  SHOCK & DENIAL

WTF’s filled twitter. Meme’s were being created.  The rewind button was frantically abused and I got one distressed call from my older brother.  “Did they just kill their lead?” 
2.  PAIN & GUILT
Flashes of Stephen Amell’s Movember moustache enter your head. So he wasn’t filming?? Maybe it’s true or at least he’ll be missing for a while.  Arrow without The Arrow? Now, that like Ra’s sword to the gut.  Slowly, a thought creeps into your head.  Maybe it’s our fault?  Maybe Amell needed a break after all the Fan Conventions and Facebook training Videos. We just pushed him too hard. Too many Meme Mondays and Fanart Fridays, the guy just needed a break.  Yep, the Fangirl Guilt has set in.

3.  ANGER & BARGAINING

Perhaps, this is when@arrowwriters, Marc Guggenheim, Andrew Kreisberg and Greg Berlanti might all want to take Twitter cover because 140 characters worth of hate is coming.  Don’t worry, it will slowly transition to kinder, yet, more strategic tweets.  “I promise to watch all the episodes live, if you let me know if Oliver Queen lives.”  “I will pay a Nielsen family to watch Arrow, if Oliver Queen isn’t really dead.”
4.  DEPRESSION, REFLECTION, LONELINESS
“I spent Five weeks in a hellish hiatus.”  That’s what we are about to embark on.  Some might say it’s the happiest time of the year, but instead there will be lots of Mint Chocolate chip ice cream consumed while watching that forehead kiss on repeat.   

5. Acceptance/ Upward Turn
Slowly after a good forty viewings of the episodes, unhealthy amounts of hours on Youtube watching Olicity videos set to “My Heart Will Go On,” and endless amount of Tumblr debates, you feel like you might make it through.  Mostly because of two beautiful word: Lazarus Pit.

Clearly I love Arrow and one of the big reasons is Olicity.  Move over Kim K because Olicity has already broken the internet plenty of times. 

10. Right in the Love Fern
Felicity has made it quite clear that she will not be sitting down in a damp basement pining for Oliver, even if that basement has a salmon ladder.  When Oliver sees his Girl Wednesday lip locked with Superman, I mean Ray Palmer, he, like the rest of the Olicity fandom, loses his mind. We all held our breaths because his outburst almost had one causality: the love Fern.

9. Can I Trust You?
When Felicty walks in, Oliver does this trance like windshield wiper wave, probably because he’s in the same Olicity trance that we are now all in.  She gives him the notebook and we’re one step closer to the Queen being in her rightful thrown: her chair in the lair. 

8. Hi, I’m Oliver Queen
She babbled, he smirked and Olicity was born.  From that moment on, the childhood scars of red pen markings were erased because a red pen became the sweetest of writing instruments. 

7. If you’re not Leaving, I’m not Leaving
The city is burning and earthquake machines are about to go off.  The smart move might be to catch an Uber out of Starling. Yet, we were all with Felicity when she pledged her loyalty to Oliver and Team Arrow.   This became the “I’ll never let go, Jack”  Titanic quote for the Olicity fandom.  And from that moment on, as long as Olicity is there, we’re not leaving. 

6. Island Swing
Oliver: Tarzan.  Felicity: Jane. Audience: Dead. Whenever these two propel through the air, Tumblr and hearts explode.   Maybe it was the long hiatus or Stephen Amell’s blinding abs, but this particular swing left us as breathless as Felicity. 

5.Do Whatever it Takes
Felicity has always been the good angel on Oliver’s shoulder.  They might as well pull a Full House Michelle Tanner gag and shrink her down and put her on his shoulder.  Then put Laurel, dressed in red, on the other screaming Kill! Kill!  So when Felicity channeled her inner Sopranos’ wife and told Oliver to get Thea back by any means necessary, we all agreed....that was HOT!

4. What Happens in Russia Stays in Russia
I don’t care how many times my Mom claims that Doctor Zhivago is one of the most romantic movies of all time. Thanks to Isabel Rochev and her vodka pushing harlot ways, Russia will always be the place where romance goes to die.

3. There was No Choice to Make
Here’s where these two mess with my psyche. I should not daydream of being kidnapped by a hopped up drug dealer.  But if Oliver Queen or Stephen Amell comes to my rescue and then softly grazes my arm to calm me, I got to say kind of worth it.   Also this was Olicity fans first real smoaking (yes Smoaking) gun that we were not looking through our shipper glasses and Oliver had joined us and was falling for Felicity.  Dude broke his vow and put, not one, but three arrows in The Count.  Endgame chants were mounting.  

2. The Bait and Switch
The scene was set. An abandoned mansion, one crazed villain and our hot couple. And finally Oliver says those three little words, “I love you.” Hearts stopped. Victory videos were being prepped for YouTube and then it was revealed to be a ploy.  Remotes were thrown and Olicity fans were left in what can be described as the following, “I spent five months in a hellish hiatus.”

1.  3.01
I can’t pick just one moment because this episode had it all.  From the debut of the Love Fern, to Felicity grabbing Oliver’s face, to Oliver’s babbling date request, to that said date literally blowing up and to that final hot kiss turned heartbreak in the Olicity cardiac arrest wing of the hospital.   This episode left all Olicity fans so emotional that whenever someone mentions “Italian for dinner?" we end up huddled in the fetal position singing, “Didn’t we almost have it all?”

Honorable Mention
This maybe wasn’t an Internet breaking moment, but great for the office chair industry.
Anyone With Boobs
There’s no Felicity I love more than Sassy Felicity, especially when she knocks frat boys for being indefensible against the power of a well-endowed chest.  She tops off the burn with a victory spin in her chair leading me to always want a sensible office chair in my proximity when insulting someone. 

And we are only midway through Season Three!  Catch up on all things Arrow and Olicity on the New 
CW Fan Talk Arrow Preshow Premiering TODAY 12/3 at 7pm ET/4pm PT. Powered by @smiletimeand @CW_network.
 cwtv.com/thecw/cwfantalk

Of course I am thankful for my health, loving family and fabulous friends this holiday season.   But I am also thankful for God’s little gifts.  The one that might be considered silly or superficial, but truly make my life better.

1. PADDED SPIN SHORTS
I commend the girls who spin away in booty shorts, but I’m also not entirely sure they aren’t aliens.  Me, I would be bowlegged for a week, sitting on a donut while WebMDing hemorrhoids, but good for them. 
2. UberX
I once proclaimed Uber was the best thing since Jesus and I might stick by this statement. Whether it’s rescuing Emily Welsh and me on the side of the road on our way to Palm Springs or simply crating Patrick and me to Weho, Uber has become as sweet a sound as the name “Maddie.”
3. TORY BURCH FLATS
I love a good pair of heels when all I have to do is make a fabulous entrance and then proceed to sit through an event.  But, unfortunately, my life is not one series of step in repeats.  Actually it’s no step and repeats, but I refuse to just fashionably throw in the towel and strap on some Aerosols, or God forbid, Crocs.  So, instead, Tory designed shoes for us to look polished yet comfortable all night long. I, for one, think that should count towards one of the three miracles required for sainthood.  
4. CAMELBAK WATER BOTTLES
Drinking water didn’t seem like a particularly hard task until I found out I was doing totally wrong and wasting so much energy.  Now when I’m forced to pour water down my throat instead of simply biting, it’s like “God, this is so hard.”  
5. DVR, ON-DEMAND, SLINGBOX ETC
Some people are cutting their cable.  I added a slingbox to my parents DVR in Knoxville.   I didn’t do this to cut back on cable costs. No, I still have a hefty individual cable bill for my two DVRS in my one bedroom apartment.  Instead, this gives me the option to watch the East Coast feed, if I don’t want to wait the excruciating extra three hours.  Clearly, cutting cable seems like "cutting the cord" to me. 
6. CHANEL WALLET ON THE CHAIN (WOC)
Yes, it is ridiculous overly priced.  Since I locked eyes with my caviar leather baby, in the sacred walls of Coco’s original store in Paris, every other bag has been benched. Sure, they still get some playing time, but the WOC is now the franchise player.  And unlike Kobe, this one’s retirement is nowhere near approaching.  Holding my cash, credit cards, iPhone, keys and a lip-gloss, the WOC is the definition of elegant minimalism.  
7. MY ADULT COLORING BOOK
Whenever I say this, people automatically think porn and I say,  "get your mind out of the gutter.'   What makes my coloring book for the mature audience has nothing to do with the subject matter, but simply the intricacy of the artwork.  If you think coloring ended with naptime, I challenge you to bust out the Crayolas and enjoy. 
8. MEME GENERATOR APP
When I make personalized memes for Whitney Neil, she literally thinks I’m the funniest person ever.  I get back lots of capitalized letter responses filled with explanation marks. It’s nice and self-reaffirming.  
9. MY CHAIR
If I’m not sleeping or working, I’m probably in my La-Z-Boy. When I first bought this mecca of comfort, La-Z-Boy was running a sale “Every Man needs a Chair.”   I ignored this clearly sexiest attitude and changed this slogan to “Every man and Molly needs a chair.”  
10. iPhone, iPad, iMac anything with an “i”
There are very few hours when I’m not touching an Apple product.  Most nights I fall asleep clutching my iPad Mini.  That might be one of the sadder sentences of this blog, but true.  Can you really imagine life before Steve Jobs' products stole all of our attention? I guess we’d read more and have full conversations devoid of emoticons.  Ohhh, the good ole days. 

In all seriousness, life without these creature comforts would be possible although bleak.  Yet, life without my friends and family is simply unimaginable, so thank you for the continual love, support and putting up with my ramblings.  Happy Thanksgiving!

Also I added an email subscription to this blog because we all just don't get enough email.  Please subscribe if you'd like to be updated with my ramblings.  Thanks!  

This is all very Dancing with the Stars, but now we are down to the Final Five!!  Whoohoo!!  My Arrow Spec "Second Chances"  has made it to the final five in Final Draft's Big Break contest.  They cut it down to three in the beginning of December and the final announcement is in the middle of December.  There is no mirrorball trophy though, but I might have done the Carlton to celebrate!  Fingers Crossed!

http://store.finaldraft.com/big-break-contest.html#currentwinners 

Also I added an email subscription to this blog because we all just don't get enough email.  Please subscribe if you'd like to be updated with my ramblings.  Thanks!  

For some reason, every kid is desperate to grow up.  Then you do and you realize you were totally duped and wish to go back to nap time and recesses.  Sure, I knew being a grown up wouldn’t be easy, but it’s not the big stuff that bugs me.   I knew bills, taxes and random body pains (is it mandatory for your back to start hurting at 28?) would suck.  But it’s the pesky crap that no one warns you about that makes you yearn for the good ole days when these magical gnomes, or in my case, Bonnie D would take care of most of these hardships. 

FIVE SIMPLE ADULT TASKS THAT AREN’T SIMPLE AT ALL
 
1. Feeding Myself
I feel like this should not be such a hard task, but I often find the gathering of food extremely challenging.  My evenings consist of this continual eternal debate between cooking and picking something up.  Cut to 9PM and me enjoying the fine delicacies of a Lean Cuisine.  Or a bowl of Raisin Brain.  That’s when I’m really lazy and when I have fresh milk.

2. Ironing
It’s the absolute devil’s work and I basically refuse to participate in this satanic ritual.  Thank goodness the tailored look doesn’t go with my curves.

3. Getting gas
 I do not trust the gas tank monitoring system, so I truly believe that a quarter of a tank is empty.  I’ve been told it is not, but I don’t trust it.   Yet, I still hate getting gas.  I know, technically, it only takes five minutes, but time stands still.  And heaven forbid, I make eye contact with any of my neighboring pumpers because once I pull into a gas station, every person automatically looks shady to me.  I could see Betty White filling up and I’d think Golden Girl herself looks “shifty.”  And there’s always a small part of me that thinks the whole place is going to blow up the minute I grab the pump. 

4. Keeping Up to Date with the News
Growing up, I remember desperately wanting to watch Wings reruns while my mom made dinner.  She would insist on checking in with Peter Jennings to “see if the world blew up.”  I always thought she could look out our window for that, but she had this Catholic school level guilt to watch the news.  Now I’m not saying I do that, but I find myself always feeling inadequate on national, global or even local events. I try to stay up to date, but CNN refuses to report in GIF and Meme style ala Buzzfeed.   Instead, I get the basic headlines and hope and pray no one asks for detailed explanations and move on with my life.  Although, I could tell you in detail the interworking’s of the Kardashians’ love lives and I’m exactly what is wrong with America today. 

5. Straightening Up
I know I have too much stuff.  When I see a shirt I love I think, “let’s get that in two colors at least.”  Margarita Mom Linda Davis taught me that.  But I am confused how every evening and every morning, I find myself having to straighten up my apartment.   Heavy cleaning is bad enough, but I put that off till the weekend.  But this annoying, constant reshuffling and hiding of my essentials adds at least 1000 steps to my Fitbit daily count .   I’m sure Oprah will tell me to declutter my life, but she’ll also release her favorite things and fill it right back up.   Instead, I will keep hiding things in my closet and shoving things in my drawers, because I’m a grownup and that’s what we do.